Thirteen years ago in 2004 I had an awakening experience like nothing I’d had before or ever heard of.
I had no idea before this weekend that something was going to happen.
It was a three day weekend in mid-February 2004 in CA, USA.
Saturday morning my roommates were out and I was at home. I knew something was going on.
My roommate’s clock chimed and played “When You Wish Upon a Star” and I thought back to hearing that as a kid.
It seemed like I wasn’t just listening to the song, but I could feel something else was going on. It’s very hard to put into words. (I am editing this June 2017 and wish I could explain this better)
I think that my spirit guides, other guides or other divine beings talked to me that weekend.
I recorded things they said in a notebook which I still have. I also wrote down many ideas that came to me at that time. I believe I was doing something called ‘automatic writing’ which means you are writing what is coming to you from God.
I wrote more about this below under the heading “The Notebook.”
The best experience was Monday evening. I could hear voices talking to me which I think were spirit guides or divine beings.
I wrote down the date and time when I was hearing things really clearly. (6:45 pm Monday, Feb. 16th)
It sounded like a group of young people talking to me. The first thing they did was start singing the song: “There’s Gonna Be a Revival.” which they sang for a bit. I sang that song in church. Before they started singing one of them said “Let’s sing this song.” while the others responded with “Yeah, Yeah.”
Then they said:
“We’re your soulmates. We have a special message for you. We love you.” This had a lot of feeling and was drawn out.
Soon after this they said:
“The world is changing drastically.
The last thing they said was like this:
“The only way people will get through the times ahead is if you get through them together.”
I remember one or more of them saying “Tell her this” or “Show her this” and the others agreeing with “yeah.”
They said other things to me and I saw some visions of myself in different places.
I love now thinking about them. I wonder sometimes why this happened just once. About a year after this happened I was mad they hadn’t come back.
Perhaps they’ll come again. I think they will when I need them or when the time is right.
Here is a version of the song “There’s Gonna Be a Revival” which starts at the 1:40 mark.
After this happened I wanted to tell everybody!
I ended up telling just a few people who were supportive. I really thought they’d tell me how I could get into my mission right then and there. Scroll down to read ‘People I Spoke to About This’ to read more.
I expected that I would from then on be spending all my time sharing what I learned during the experience. I thought I wouldn’t work at a regular job again but would instead go around speaking to people.
I was in this blissful state thinking I knew what I would do with my life and had the answer to everything.
It didn’t stay that way. I went back to reality unhappily.
At the end of August 2014 I went through the notebook and started copying things from this notebook on the computer as well as some things that happened during the experience that I hadn’t written down.
When this happened in ’04 there was no social media or blogging. Having these things now should help me to spread my messages.
Like so many of us I can see the way the world is going.
We all need to work on making a new world.
I’m really feeling guided to share my messages here.
I started this blog only for this purpose.
Sharing With A Blog
August/September 2014 I was thinking that I should share this experience in a blog. I know that back in ’04 either there were no blogs or they were just starting out.
There is also Youtube which I wasn’t aware of in ’04. I have been thinking to use it to spread my messages.
I did write some of my experience into a post on Myspace around 2007. I got a little positive feedback. Myspace has updated a lot since then and I can’t see any way to find this writing.
I’m hoping in the near future to post so much of what I want to say. Then I hope people who can understand will be able to read my writings and even share them if they wish.
I still have the notebook I used to write down a lot during and after this experience. I did some automatic writing in it while the experience was going on and then I kept writing things in it for a month or so after.
Then I used it over the next few years to write down more things like goals, plans and one or two angel card readings. Eventually I threw out all the unused pages. I have always had it with me.
In August 2014, a month before I started this blog, I pulled out the notebook and went over every page. I cleaned it up and threw out some blank or dirty pages.
I don’t save many things for 12 years. I think we should give away what we don’t use. So the fact that I’ve kept this notebook for so long tells you something. Each time I go through my things I check to see where my notebook is.
At the start of 2004 I enrolled in an online seminary.
My awakening experience happened just six weeks later. I thought the two things were related. I stayed in the seminary for two years and after finishing all the work was granted a Masters in Divinity (M.Div).
The seminary founder told us at the start that we had decided to do this before we were born. I didn’t know what to make of that. After my experience I realized he was right. About a year into the program I went to a retreat held by the seminary and told the people there including the founder about this.
People I Spoke to About This
After this happened I wanted to tell everybody.
I went to our seminary’s website where we had a message board where people could post whatever they wanted. I posted about my experience and got some positive feedback. Unfortunately I didn’t save it and the page doesn’t exist anymore.
One member wrote that I was channeling. I said something like why did this happen to me without any warning. Someone wrote that one’s ability to channel can be blasted open.
I also remember that I visited a Unity Church and spoke to the pastor there about it. We were alone. I had asked for an appointment. I remember that she was skeptical at first but then believed me and was happy with everything I said.
I also spoke to some members of a Church of Religious Science. I told some other people things such as “I feel I’m talking to God.” Also I emailed a spiritual teacher about it and she wrote back saying that she believed my story. Her name is Terry Cole-Whittaker. I still have the emails we exchanged and I wrote about her in another post.
I’d like to add that I wasn’t told anything at all about animals or the environment or whether people should follow diets such as the vegan diet during my experience in 2004.
However, later on I did start to get more concerned about the environment. I am very concerned now and am writing a lot on it. You can go to the search function and just type in “environment” to see.
Something Else I Learned During My Experience
In school I liked it and did well mostly.
One of my family members didn’t like it and didn’t do that well. We disagreed on things. I thought I was smarter than him.
When I had my experience I heard or felt that he and I are equally intelligent.
What I Saw
I’m not good at visualizing anything. If someone asks me to close my eyes and picture something I can’t do it that well. I can visualize a color or light, something simple, but not anything complex.
Having been on a spiritual path, sometimes I’ve tried certain exercises where you are told to visualize something and it’s a little frustrating cos I can’t do it well. Sometimes I will substitute something simpler which I can visualize. For example if told to visualize a chakra I try to see something like it, a colored light maybe. Even a vivid dream isn’t as clear as my visualizations during this experience.
During this experience, unlike any other time in my life I did visualize, very clearly. For one thing I saw myself at different ages such as about age twelve, in middle school. I had forgotten what I looked like then.
I’m a little shy to share this, but I also saw myself on Oprah which was a regular TV show then. I had been a fan of Oprah and had watched it off and on since high school but I never had any desire to be on the show. I saw myself very clearly on stage, talking to the audience and standing right next to her. She was seated. She obviously loved what I was saying. I’ve never had any contact with her whatsoever before or since.
I also saw myself addressing a large audience, something I never had wanted to do. I remember seeing one famous actor in the crowd but I’d rather not say who it was.
At another point I saw myself on a stage without about five people who I don’t know but I thought were all spiritual teachers. They were sitting on chairs onstage with some space in between each of them . I remember standing up and talking while they sat. At least I saw myself doing that. I don’t remember if I heard what I was actually saying there. If I did I can’t remember it now.
I believe, thinking back, the first thing that I saw was a woman with long, straight blond hair looking at me and smiling. I must have had my eyes closed and just saw a black background. This woman just walked over from the left then was in the middle and turned towards me, kneeled down and just looked at me and smiled. She was one of the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
This visualization wasn’t as clear as the others I wrote about above. It was kind of like a dream that’s not really clear. But she was definitely there. You could compare it to looking at a black movie screen and seeing someone come into it on the left and walk to the middle. I also remember that behind her there was a night sky, a black sky with stars.
While she was looking at me I looked at the sky and became interested in it. It’s as though she could read my thoughts. She got up and went away as though she was getting out of the way so that I could see the sky. After she left there was nothing but the sky. Then the stars seemed to become more vivid.
Info on One Past Life
There were a few things that happened which I didn’t write about. I wish that I had but I remember them pretty well. One of these is that I was told about a past life I had. Actually not much was said. Here is the story.
One day my history teacher my freshman year of high school told us that he had a female student in the past who had been killed. The story went that she and a boyfriend were parked at a lover’s lane and were killed by someone. He told us he read about it in the paper. I got the impression that it happened after she took his class, possibly after she finished high school.
Kids were curious. One of them asked where that girl had sat in our class. The teacher said something like, “I don’t want anybody to freak out.” Then he said that girl had sat where I was sitting. I remembered that story. I don’t remember thinking much about it.
When I had my experience my guides said something like, do you remember that story your teacher told? Then they said: “You were that girl.” I had doubts about reincarnation before this experience, but since then I’ve believed in it.
After my experience I thought about things and it all could have happened as my guides said. That high school had been open about forty years. That teacher had been teaching about 25 years. Another time he told us he’d had the same seating arrangement in that classroom for 22 years. I was 14. So as I see it, it all works out. It could have happened.
Having been into spiritual things since I was about 16 I had been a believer in reincarnation, but at age 20 I read Betty J. Eadie’s great book: Embraced by the Light about her near death experience, and she wrote in the book that she learned in heaven that we don’t have more than one life on our planet.
I decided that I no longer believed in reincarnation after reading her book, but I was still kind of open to it. Since having my experience, I have believed in it without a doubt. I have enough proof. At least it’s enough proof for me.
City / Suburbs / Country
AT ONE POINT – I WASN’T TAKEN ABOVE MY HOMETOWN, A CITY IN AMERICA, BUT I WAS KIND OF ABOVE AND LOOKING AT IT. THE MEMORY ISN’T CLEAR.
WHAT I DO REMEMBER IS THIS: I WENT OVER THE CITY AND SAW WHILE I WAS TOLD & FELT SOMETHING LIKE THIS: “WE LET THE CITY GO TO RUIN, WE LET THE PEOPLE THERE LIVE IN POVERTY AND KILL EACH OTHER.”
FOR ME IT WAS LIKE THAT ALL MY LIFE BUT I UNDERSTAND THAT EARLIER LIKE DURING THE FIFTIES IT WASN’T LIKE THAT.
THEN AFTER SEEING THE CITY IT’S LIKE I FLEW THROUGH THE SUBURBS TO RURAL AREAS, THEN I FELT/HEARD SOMETHING LIKE THIS – WE DON’T CARE THAT THESE PEOPLE DON’T HAVE JOBS OR THAT THEIR SCHOOLS AREN’T AS GOOD.
I WISH I HAD WRITTEN THIS DOWN SO THAT IT WOULD BE MORE CLEAR. HAVING GROWN UP IN THE SUBURBS AND SPENDING ALMOST ALL OF MY TIME THERE, I DIDN’T TALK OR THINK MUCH ABOUT THE PEOPLE LIVING IN THE CITY OR RURAL AREAS.
THE ONLY TIME WE WENT TO THE CITY WAS TO SEE A BALLGAME, GO TO SOME FESTIVAL OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
WE ONLY WENT OUTSIDE THE SUBURBS TO THE COUNTRY AS WE CALLED IT WHEN GOING ON VACATION OR CAMPING AND SUCH.
AND WE DIDN’T THINK MUCH ABOUT THE PEOPLE LIVING IN THESE PLACES!
IT’S LIKE WE DIDN’T MIND OR THOUGHT IT WAS NORMAL THAT THEY DIDN’T HAVE WHAT THE PEOPLE IN THE SUBURBS HAVE. DURING THE EXPERIENCE I SAW THIS REALLY CLEARLY AND REALIZED THE WAY I SAW THINGS BEFORE DIDN’T MAKE SENSE AT ALL.
Lessons are Repeated
During my awakening experience or whatever I should call it, I saw that every lesson is repeated until you get it. This was illustrated to me with examples from my own life. Unfortunately I didn’t write them down in the notebook and I don’t remember any of them. I just know that at the time I could see certain situations in my life and see the lesson.
I wrote this down:
“WILL KEEP GETTING IT AGAIN + AGAIN UNTIL YOU’VE GOT IT!”
Something else I wrote down in the notebook I want to share:
IF YOU SEE SOMEONE WHO NEEDS SOMETHING, AND YOU CAN GIVE IT TO THEM, PLEASE GIVE IT TO THEM. IF PEOPLE ASK WHY JUST SAY: IT’S AN EMERGENCY.
IF YOU NEED SOMETHING ASK FOR IT & IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO GIVE – GIVE – ALL OF IT!
NO AGE / WEIGHT / NUMBER / TIME / RACE / LABEL MATTERS EVER! YOU’RE NEVER TOO YOUNG / OLD / DISEASED TO DO ANYTHING.
If it works for you – do it.
I mean to say PLEASE DO IT! (PLEASE DO IT IS IN ALL CAPS)
What you want, really want, what you need / what God needs / what world needs are same!!!!
Before thought I couldn’t expand on teachings of Terry Cole-Whittaker / Gary Zukav – now I can!!!
At the time these two teachers were two that I really liked. I had their books. I don’t read their books or follow them anymore though I still get emails now and then from one of them.
Over the years I’ve read books from others such as Deepak Chopra, Neale Donald Walsch, James Twyman, Gary Renard, Terry Cole-Whittaker, Doreen Virtue…I also really like Paramahansa Yogananda. I love Rumi’s quotes but never read one of his books. I also like Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay and many others.
I try to use my intuition and guidance with everything – every word I write or speak, every step, money I spend, everything I do.
I’m not a fan of romance novels, but while having this experience in ’04 I realized that I had read three of them and that each took place during a revolution – the Mexican, Russian and French revolutions.
I remember now one book was Zoya by Danielle Steele which starts out during the Russian Revolution. The names of the others I can’t recall.
I had never realized that before. I read one in college and two in my early twenties.
One was given to me and the other two I picked up in youth hostels. I never bought one. I had never thought much of them.
When I realized that they all took place during a revolution, I was thinking there will be another revolution in our times. I can’t recall thinking any more about it.
During the experience I made so many connections about things that had happened in my life. In the post “Lessons are Repeated” I wrote I could see lessons in my own life, things I had forgotten about.
Rev. Terry Cole-Whittaker
I was also using something called “The 3 Keys to Fortune” which you can find at the Rev. Terry Cole-Whittaker’s website.
If anyone does a quick online search using my full name they can find out a lot about me and just a few other people with the same first and last name including the following:
address history, family members’ names, age, facebook, myspace and other accounts.
I don’t think it’s acceptable that anyone in the world with internet access can find out these things! I am thinking about keeping my full name private.
ANOTHER THING OR KNOWING THAT I GOT FROM THIS EXPERIENCE – IF YOU STEP ON SOMEONE, YOU’RE NOT JUST STEPPING ON YOUR BROTHER OR SISTER, YOU’RE STEPPING ON YOURSELF. IT’S EXACTLY LIKE STEPPING ON YOURSELF. I’M NOT SURE IF I WAS TOLD THIS OR FELT THIS OR SOMEHOW JUST KNEW THIS. IT WAS COMMUNICATED SOMEHOW, MAYBE WITH WORDS, MAYBE THROUGH FEELING.
MOTHER TERESA SAID THE POOREST OF THE POOR ARE OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS. DURING THE EXPERIENCE OR AFTER, I WAS THINKING/GETTING THAT – THEY ARE NOT JUST YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS – THEY ARE YOU!!!
A FEW YEARS AFTER THIS HAPPENED, IN 2007, I HAD ANOTHER EXPERIENCE THAT WAS LESS PROFOUND THAN THIS ONE BUT STILL GOOD. (I MENTIONED IT IN ANOTHER POST ON THIS BLOG.) I CAN’T DESCRIBE IT BUT I COULD SEE THAT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN THE WORLD IS CONNECTED.
THEN JUST A SHORT TIME LATER SOMEONE POSTED IN AN ONLINE ACIM – A COURSE IN MIRACLES GROUP SOMETHING WHICH THEY HAD FOUND ELSEWHERE. SOMEONE, I DON’T KNOW WHO, WROTE “THERE IS NO SEPARATION.” THIS MEANS THAT PEOPLE ARE ALL ONE. THERE’S NO SEPARATION BETWEEN ONE PERSON AND ANOTHER PERSON.
There was something else which I was told. During the experience, I believe towards the beginning, they told me that everything that happened in my life was necessary to bring me to that point.
I thought then, later on and still now about things that happened in my life that I wasn’t happy about – problems at school, college, with family, at work and so on.
After the experience I remembered that though I wasn’t happy about a certain thing that happened in my life I had been told that it was necessary.
Once I read the spiritual teacher Neale Donald Walsh say something like this:
“If you saw your next door neighbor in trouble you would help them and people on the other side of the world are not that far away. They might as well be your next door neighbors.”
When I read that, it made me stop and think a bit. Of course I realized this is the truth.
What would the world be like if people helped everyone around the world as they would their next door neighbors?
During this experience in 2004 and another experience in 2006 I could see that there is no separation, that everyone is really one soul, so there isn’t any separation between people.
Everything you do to others you do to yourself because they are you! I saw myself saying this to an audience.